2009, USA
Karyn Kusama
2 // 10
Is it bad when the title does not really correspond to the film? Is clueless lollipop erotic teenage horror comedy a genre? Why the hell did I watch it in the first place? There's only one way to find out!
The last question is actually the most difficult to answer, so that's where I am going to start, to have it out of the way. In all honesty, I've no idea. My LoveFilm rental queue is three metres long and there are films in there, that I've added years ago. I must have had a reason. The only one I can think of in this particular case is that I might have wanted to see another film from the Aeon Flux's director, although even that seems far fetched. As much as I loved the original cartoon, the only good thing about the feature version was Charlize Theron and I find it rather difficult to believe that I would have want to see any other examples of Karyn Kusama's work. Seems like coincidence to me more than anything else, but that leaves the question in question even more enigmatic. Unless I was just curious to see what Megan Fox actually looks like (quick glance at her filmography reveals that I have managed to avoid every single film she's been in so far...) but even then I probably could have chosen a better film. So, yeah... no idea. But I wish I didn't. Jennifer's Body is basically as negligible, as it only gets. It's a horror that doesn't scare or bring anything new to the table and it's (allegedly) also a comedy, but it's just not funny at all. There's an element of a teen college flick that is so banal and bog standard that I fall asleep even as I'm trying to think of ways of slating it. The only positive points would be some of the performances, with Kyle Gallner portraying probably my favourite character in the film, even though he's emo :-> and Jonathan Simmons doing a decent job being amusing as well as mildly ironic about his character as an emphatic teacher. As for the rest, I guess the best would be just to assume that it was a job and it did pay many of the cast member's bills. On the artistic level though, the Earth did not tremble.
Another (dis)honourable mention goes to the script, for which I shall name and shame Brook Busey-Maurio, otherwise known as Diablo Cody, made famous by her multi-awarded script for Juno. Well, I am still to watch that one, but Jennifer's Body is a garble. It is such bland mix of have-seens and pop cultural fast food that that even Van Damme in the beer commercial appears four-dimensional in comparison. Nothing's new, nothing's surprising, nothing's original. Nothing makes sense either (supplying a 'wrong' girl for the sacrifice ritual makes the whole thing go pear-shaped, but the fact that the very ritual has been performed inaccurately makes absolutely no difference, for example). The story is shallow and derivative (bloody climax on the prom night? Wow. I mean... just wow...) and even if the intention was to play on the recognisable elements, to twist them and deliver old ingredients combined into a new flavour, well, then that just landed so flat on its face I can still hear the splat. To sum it up, it's one of those films that keep me amazed about how the Hollywood works. That there was someone, out there, who decided that the Jennifer's Body was something worth putting into production and paying money for. And judging by the fact that the Fox Atomic studio closed in 2009 with Jennifer's Body being its last release, it was a mistake even the idiot who's made it must reflect upon today. Well, one can hope at least.
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