PROMETHEUS [2012]

EXTINGUISHING THE LIGHT


2012, USA
Ridley Scott
1 // 10

Why? Why? Why? There's only one way to find out!

I think I'll keep this one brief for you. It's shite. It really, really is. You know when you sometimes cling to the hope that maybe, just maybe, there will be at least one little thing you'd be able to like? You know, like the pod race in THE PHANTOM MENACE? This is how I approached PROMETHEUS. Not much hope, no expectations, just a sliver of curiosity whether all I've heard was fair. And maybe, just maybe, that I'd find something for myself to like.

I didn't.

I am happy to admit that Michael Fassbender's performance was good. And that's it. Seriously, this is by far the only positive thing I can find. Which is not a lot to hang onto, is it, Mr Scott? Apart from that this film is simply achingly, insultingly stupid. No cliche is left unturned. No stupid characters' behaviour or dialogue line spared. The whole thing just feels like an exercise in pointlessness. I am a big ALIEN franchise fan (I actually really like all four films) but I have never, ever felt any personal need for a Xenomorph origins story. That's one. Second, if we have to have one, it'd be nice if it came to be because someone had a brilliant idea for it, not because a burnt-out Hollywood blockbuster maker decided to re-heat an old idea from the past, when he still had talent and ideas, just to keep the ka-ching! rolling. It feels like the script for PROMETHEUS had been written by a Hollywood studio executives, who'd normally require an assistant to type 'out of office' email notification. Because market. Sure, I'll watch the next one just like I watched the PROMETHEUS and AvP films. But if it's any good, it will actually make the PROMETHEUS' failure even more painful.